Today’s newsletter is a little different from the past few weeks. I sure hope the Lord’s word has helped you and that my little input hasn’t gotten in the way of that. Today, though, is going to be more personal.

For a long time, I’ve had a yearning, if that’s the right word, to create something. Some of you know I tend to go back and forth with things. I do have ADHD, but truthfully, that’s not the reason. It’s because I’ve been trying to figure out what I’m meant to do. Lately, I’ve been enjoying writing. I’m not great at it, but with practice, I think it’ll get better and maybe even more interesting to read.

Funny thing is, I’m not an avid reader. I do read, just not the “book a week or a month” kind of gal. Never have been. There were probably years when I read a book’s worth of things but never a whole book (excluding Scripture). A book has to either be something I’m researching or something that catches my attention right away.

But I love to write.

So of course, I had to investigate whether there were any authors who wrote but didn’t read much, and I was surprised by what I found. Check this out:

Agatha Christie said she didn’t read much because she didn’t want other people’s plots creeping into her own.
Ray Bradbury read, yes, but said his real inspiration came from people-watching and childhood memories—not books.
Maya Angelou once said she didn’t set out to be a writer at all—she just had stories that wouldn’t leave her alone until she put them on paper.

So, they read, but in different ways. One didn’t read much, one was inspired by people, and the other wrote because she had to. Boy, do I know that feeling. Something creative has to come out!

I just could never figure out if it was writing or something else. I tried crafting and art - nope. I made a few nice things, but that’s not where my talent lies. Then I tried graphic t-shirts, and I have to say I love doing that, but no one ever seemed all that interested. For the time and money it takes, it just didn’t make sense to keep at it.

But writing, it’s free (well, sorta). I can do it with pen and paper, or here on the computer, which is easier on my hands (thanks, arthritis!). I can pour my thoughts out, or just brain dump and see where it goes. That’s kind of what I’m doing with y’all right now, though by the time it gets to your inbox, I’ll have straightened it up a bit.

All this to say: I’ve been struggling for some time with my calling; where does God wants me? Don’t get me wrong, I’m active in my church’s women’s ministry, I help my husband with the missions ministry, and I clean the church one month out of the year (don’t worry, others have the other eleven). I give my time where I can. Those things are fulfilling in their own way, and I love the ladies in my church (plus they might be reading this, so I’d better say that! 😄♥️). But the creative part of me still needs some time out in the sun with the Son, and I’m still trying to figure out what that looks like.

So I went researching. I spend time in Scripture, of course, but sometimes it helps to read about someone else’s struggle with the same questions, maybe find a nugget or two of inspiration. I came across an author I’d never heard of before: Frederick Buechner. Through all my reading, I landed on his book Now and Then: A Memoir of Vocation. When I read the description, I asked my friend Craig if he knew him. Buechner sounded a little like Brennan Manning, who Craig has talked about and really likes. He had heard of Buechner through Manning’s work but hadn’t read him. After all that, I decided to buy the book. Normally I’d get it on Kindle, but I have a feeling I’ll be doing a lot of highlighting and notations, so I went for a real book in hand.

I’m excited to dig into it. Do you know what “vocation” means? It means a calling, something that draws you in, the way God does when He’s calling you into a work. I’ve heard pastors and evangelists say their calling wasn’t what they expected, and they often ran from it for a while before surrendering.

But my question is this: Is it possible that God calls you to a work that makes your heart and soul sing? One that you have to do; something that brings you joy you can’t contain? Or is it always sacrificial? Maybe it’s both: maybe it brings joy and still requires sacrifice. Maybe that’s it.

Perhaps Buechner’s book will help me answer these questions - or maybe you can.

What do you think? Do you believe the Lord’s calling on your life is always sacrificial? Does it have to feel hard all the time, or can it be both: joyful and costly? I’d love to hear your thoughts, because sisters, I’m struggling with it.

So pray for me, will you? And share your opinions, your Scriptures, your experiences. I don’t know it all; far from it. I just share what I’m taught and what I feel God leads me to write. But today I felt like I should lay all this out, because it says, “We have not because we ask not,” and while that’s about bringing things to God, I thought it might also be worth asking you.

James 4:1–4 (KJV)
1 From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?
2 Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.
3 Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.
4 Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.

I want to make sure my writing is for Him, because He’s called me, not for subscriptions or recognition. I’d love to share it widely, yes, but my goal is to uplift, encourage, and teach. I never want to become prideful in what I do, whether it’s writing or any other creative thing God may use.

So again, please share your thoughts, Scriptures, and experiences. Let’s pray for one another. If you’re going through the same struggle I am, let’s pray that God makes His voice so clear we can’t mistake it for our own.

Thank you for reading this. I know it was long, but I trust most of you are my sisters in the Lord, and at least one of you has something to share; something that might help not just me, but someone else too.

Love you all!
Candie B. 🥰 💄✝️

I’ve found the greatest challenge in walking out our God-given role as women is learning to stand firm between God’s design and the world’s distortion of it. Isn’t it strange that the world keeps trying to tell us what we’re designed for when it doesn’t even know the Creator of the design? If I taste a beautiful piece of bread, I’m not going to ask a mechanic who’s never baked a loaf to teach me how to recreate it. I’m going to go straight to the recipe - to the creator’s instructions - and follow them carefully so I can taste that same goodness again.

Romans 12:1-2 says: “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and PERFECT will of God.”

The world will tell us we can do it all on our own and that we don’t need anyone, especially a man. And while it’s true we can rely fully on God, He did design us to be helpers. So if your desire is to be married, raise children, homeschool them, and keep your home in order, don’t let the world convince you that’s weak. That’s holy work.

Let me share a little story. Some of you know my husband had back surgery in July. Before that, he was home doing the whole routine, doctor visits, shots, physical therapy, all of it. Since he couldn’t work, he and my daughter started doing many of the household chores I normally handle on top of me working full-time. About a month in, he asked, “How in the world did you get all this done and work?” I just laughed and said, “Well, it had to be done by someone; I just did it when I could.” He saw firsthand what a working wife and mother carries. And honestly, it was good for him. It gave him a new appreciation, not just for me, but for what his own mother did when he was growing up. He realized something I already knew: women are POWERHOUSES.

Even if you’re a stay-at-home mom, your work is overflowing: homeschooling, volunteering, keeping life moving. It’s more than a full-time job! But honestly, who cares how much or how little you do - if you’re walking in your calling, you’re living out the Proverbs 31 woman. And that, my friend, is not weak.

Now, to my single sisters, don’t tune out just yet. You may think this doesn’t apply to you, but I promise it does. You can show your Ezer to the world every day. “Ezer” means strong helper, and when paired with Kenegdo, it means opposite but not opposed; complementary and in partnership. And since your partner right now isn’t a man, why not serve as the Lord’s strong helper? This is your time to shine in whatever ministry or group you’re part of. Let your light show what strength and grace look like in motion. If marriage is in your heart, what better way to prepare than to walk faithfully in your design right now? Who knows, your future other half may be serving right beside you.

And to my widowed sisters, you are part of this too. You carry a wisdom the rest of us need. You’ve walked both paths, partnership and singleness, and your story is a living testimony of grace, strength, and endurance. You, too, are a powerhouse for the Lord.

Ephesians 2:10 reminds us, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.”

God designed you to walk in His purpose with power and strength only He can give. You are not lesser. You were not an afterthought. You were created with love — for good works. Walk in them.

1 Peter 4:10-11 says, “As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God… that God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ.”

Whether you’re changing diapers or buying property, remember, you’ve been given the gift of Christ Himself. What you do is holy. You can stay home and care for your family, or you can work outside the home, either way, you are walking in His design. The world may call it weakness, but they have no idea how much power your Creator placed in you. So you keep doing what He’s called you to do, and you fill your home, and this world with Jesus. What a calling on your life!

To my working sisters juggling motherhood and marriage - keep at it. You’re doing a great job. And to my single mamas, sister, where a man may be absent, your Savior is always present. Don’t ever forget that. Your mission field is both your home and your workplace, and God has trusted you with both.

Joshua 1:9 says, “Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.”

Hang in there. I know it’s tiring sometimes. I know the “thank yous” can be few and far between. But God sees it all, every little act that keeps your family going. He sees your faithfulness in the long days and the quiet nights. And one day, instead of applause, you’ll hear the sweetest words of all: “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” And that, sister, is worth more than a thousand thank-yous!

This is what The Design of Us has been all about: knowing who we are, whose we are, and walking it out with courage. From the Garden to today, God has never changed His mind about women. We are not the backup plan; we are the divine answer to a divine need. Whether you’re building a home, working a job, raising babies, mentoring others, or praying through a hard season, remember: you are His workmanship. Handcrafted with intention. You carry the reflection of your Creator in the way you love, serve, build, nurture, and lead.

So lift your chin, sister. Straighten that crown of grace. The world may not understand your strength, but God does because He designed it. When you grow weary, come back to this truth: you were made on purpose, for a purpose. You are a daughter of the King. You are the Ezer Kenegdo: strong, steady, and chosen for such a time as this. Now go and live it out: in your home, your workplace, your church, and your friendships — and let your life preach the sermon of a woman walking in God’s perfect design.

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” — Proverbs 31:25

This world doesn’t get to define us; the Word already did. As we wrap up The Design of Us, I challenge you this week to ask: “Lord, how can I walk more fully in what You designed me to be?” Then take one step toward that answer. And when you do, I’d love to hear about it in the comments, because your story might be the spark another sister needs.

Love always,

Candie B 🌸👸✝️

I’m sorry this one might not be much for you (the brothers, that is), but you’re more than welcome to stay awhile, read along, and maybe even learn something new. If you’re a single Christian man, this could give you a glimpse of the kind of woman you should look for. Who knows? But I digress.

Last time, we talked about roles and God’s design for men and women. Today, we’re going to take all of that and see what it looks like in our everyday lives.

In Genesis 2:18–22, God said that it “was not good for man to be alone” before taking the rib from Adam’s side and creating Eve. Sister, you were not a mistake. You were not less than. You were made to be a help — an Ezer. You were made to bring strength and support, to help and protect. YES, YOU!

We are not lesser. God made us equal, but different. I can’t stress that enough!

To be honest, I’ve been avoiding Proverbs 31 because, if you’ve been a Christian woman for any length of time, you’ve probably done enough Bible studies on it to recite it in your sleep. But when we’re talking about the purpose and role of a woman, it’s almost impossible not to mention these verses that show the strength and power God gave us. So, bear with me:

• She willingly works with her hands (31:13)

• She meets the merchant ships and brings food from afar (31:14)

• She considers a field and buys it (31:16)

• She stretches out her hand to the poor and needy (31:20)

• She makes fine linen and sells it (31:24)

• She is wise and kind (31:26)

• Her husband and children call her blessed, and her husband praises her (31:28)

See, sisters, we were not created as an afterthought of God. We were created in the likeness and image of the Most High. We were made to do things like run a business and buy land! Yes, we were made to be our husbands’ help, but that does not make us slaves. It doesn’t mean God forgot to give us purpose or gifts of our own. It means we were made to contribute.

In a time where the “trad wife” movement gets torn apart from every angle, I want you to remember this: being a helper does not mean turning off your mind or your strength. A godly husband, one worth his weight, will recognize all that you bring to the table. He’ll call you blessed and love you as Christ loves the church.

And if he isn’t doing those things right now? That’s when we lift him up in prayer. That’s when we step into our role as Ezer; the helper God designed us to be, and pray over him, trusting that God can work miracles in his heart, your home, and your marriage.

While we’re on the word Ezer, did you know it’s often used to describe what God is to man? That’s right, ladies — as we are made to be a help to our husbands, God is our help, too.

Psalm 33:20–21

Our soul waiteth for the Lord: He is our help and our shield. For our heart shall rejoice in Him, because we have trusted in His holy name.

Psalm 121:1–2

I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.

If there’s any proof that God made woman with purpose… there it is! He made us to reflect His own nature as a helper, a strength, a shield. That truth should lift you right out of your chair, sister, and make you want to shout!

We serve a God who values our role, who made us to be blessed and praised for the help and love we pour into our families. So, don’t grow weary in well doing (Galatians 6:9). Get out there and be who God created you to be.

And if your husband isn’t being the man God called him to be, don’t let that stop you. Keep praying. Keep walking in step with the Holy Spirit. God will move. He won’t let him stay at peace until he’s aligned with His purpose - I believe that with all that I am.

The Bible is full of women who show us what godly strength looks like:

• Abigail — Wisdom to prevent bloodshed (1 Samuel 25:23–33)

• Deborah — Leadership and courage (Judges 4–5)

• Ruth — Loyalty and hard work (Ruth 1–4)

• Mary, the mother of Jesus — Obedience and faith (Luke 1:26–38)

Ladies, we were made to be wise, courageous, and loyal; among many other things. If you’re married, live this truth out daily. And if you’re single, rise up, my friend, and become this kind of woman. It pleases God and draws the right man in His timing.

Sisters, we were never an afterthought … we were an answer. God looked at His creation and said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” You were the divine solution to that problem. You were crafted with care, purpose, and power.

So, whether you’re building a home, running a business, raising children, or standing firm in prayer for your husband, remember who you are. You are His workmanship, created for good works, filled with wisdom, and wrapped in grace. Keep walking boldly in your calling, and let your life be the reflection of the God who made you strong.

Stay tuned — next week we’ll finish this “Roles” series with Part 3, where it all comes together in a way you won’t want to miss!

Love all of you and may the rest of your week be blessed!

Candie B 💄💪❤️

See you then!

Candie B

Welcome to The Roles Series, where we’re slowing down and walking through what Scripture really says about how God designed men and women, not from a worldly lens, but straight from the Word.

Each part builds on the last, so take your time, grab your Bible (and maybe a cup of coffee), and let’s explore how divine design brings peace, purpose, and partnership.

“Help Meet” – Part 1

Hey there my sisters (and brothers, if you find yourself here… welcome)!

If you noticed in the subtitle it says Part 1 … well, that’s right my friends, we’re doing a series. I’m long-winded, and to get all this out, I had to break it into eatable chunks.

Most of us have read Genesis 1 and 2 more than a few times. If you’ve been a Bible reader since way back in Christian school (yep, that’s me… shoutout to Fairwinds — Go Knights!), you could almost quote them.

But this series is about roles. That’s right, I said it. That word some women in the world just don’t like to hear.

But sister, God gave us a divine purpose.

Having a role is not a bad thing. Everything God does is good and for your good. So if the idea of a role as a woman feels offensive, well… you’ll have to take that up with the Almighty.

Man’s Design: Mission and Purpose

Let’s start with two verses that show God’s design for both men and women.

After God created Adam, He did the following:

“And the Lord God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.”

— Genesis 2:15

The Lord made man to have a mission, a purpose, to do something with his hands.

People often point out that when man fell, God made him work by the sweat of his brow (Genesis 3:19), but honestly, he was already dressing and keeping the garden long before the fall. God gave men a mission because that’s how He designed them.

Have you ever noticed what happens to men after they retire if they don’t have something to do?

How many times have you seen a man struggle when his hands are idle or when he doesn’t have a purpose?

I bet someone comes to mind right now — and I’d wager he found something to do, even if it was meeting a friend, playing a round of golf, or tinkering in the garage.

That’s because God built men to do, protect, and provide.

I can tell you, my husband really dislikes being on the disabled list right now (he had back surgery). He’s constantly trying to help me out in the smallest of ways because it’s who he is — he’s built to work and contribute.

Woman’s Design: The ʿĒzer Kĕnegdô

Next, let’s look at what God said to Adam right before He brought Eve onto the scene:

“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”

— Genesis 2:18

Okay, hold on to your hats, ladies, because we’re about to dive into some Hebrew.

The word “help” comes from the Hebrew ʿēzer, which means to help, support, assist, strengthen. Notice, there’s nothing subservient about this word used to describe the woman God was about to create.

The word “meet” is kĕnegdô, meaning the complement, the opposite but not opposing.

It gives the sense of completion; two puzzle pieces that fit together.

She is opposite, but not in competition. Equal, but different.

The man and the woman each have a purpose, and together they make a whole. God said it was not good for man to be alone, and when you understand the meaning of help meet, that becomes so clear, a man isn’t complete without his complement, a woman.

Equal, Different, and Designed by God

So ladies, we are not lesser. What man lacks, woman supplies. Together, we reflect the image of God — two halves of a design that’s meant to work in harmony, not hierarchy.

When we understand that, we stop fighting against the role He called good and start walking in it with peace.

All that God does is good and for your good.

That’s where we’ll pick up next time, digging a little deeper into what it really means to walk out our God-given design.

So grab your Bible, maybe a notebook, and meet me back here for Part 2 — because sister, we’re just getting started! ♥️

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Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about secret keeping. We all have our secrets — even me. That might surprise some people because if you know me even a little, you know I’m an open book. Sometimes a little too open. So I’ve often wondered: why are some people so guarded? Why is it so hard to really get to know them? They seem wrapped in mystery or fear, afraid of being hurt or of something getting out.

How did we get here? How did we, as believers, reach a place where we’re scared to be honest with one another? Aren’t we supposed to be people who don’t gossip — people who can be trusted with one another’s hearts?

In my experience, I’ve noticed that many Christian women, especially, are afraid to confide in each other. And to be honest... it’s because we’ve become, as a people, a little untrustworthy. (Yikes, even writing that makes me cringe.) 

But it’s true. Of all people, shouldn’t we be the ones others can trust the most?

If someone asks me to keep something private, I do. I hold that confidence. But if I see someone struggling, I might mention it to another sister in Christ so we can pray for them. That’s not gossip, that’s concern.

Definition of Gossip:
“Casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true.”

So no, seeing a sister struggling and quietly asking another to pray isn’t gossip. But if we go on and on about what we’ve seen or what we’ve “heard,” that’s where we start walking a fine line. And ladies (and Gents too), let’s be honest, we’ve all stood on that line. Every single one of us.

“Lord, forgive us for letting concern slip into gossip. Help us listen more than we speak, and when we do speak, let it be to build others up.”

Well, that went in a direction I didn’t expect, but sometimes God just steers the words where He wants them to go. He’s teaching me as much as I’m sharing with you.

The Secrets We Keep

When I was looking into the secrets we keep, we see in scripture there are both good and bad secrets. Look at Esther; she kept her identity hidden for a time, and that wisdom ended up saving her people. (Esther 2:10, 4:14 KJV) That’s a good secret.

But then there’s Abraham, who told people that Sarah was his sister instead of his wife, and that nearly caused disaster. (Genesis 12:11–20 KJV) That’s the kind of secret that backfires.

Scripture shows us that secret-keeping itself isn’t bad, but there are bad secrets. The kind that isolate us. The kind that harm others or ourselves and keep us from walking in truth. Those are the ones that, as the Bible says, eventually come to light. (Luke 8:17 KJV)

From Secrecy to Community

When I stepped back and thought about it, I realized that at the heart of secret-keeping is the question of trust. Who can I trust? Who can trust me?

That’s what led me straight into studying the “One Anothers” of Scripture — all those reminders that faith was never meant to be lived alone. We’re told to love one another, bear one another’s burdens, encourage one another, forgive one another.

Every one of those calls asks for a level of openness, the kind that only grows where trust has been tended. It made me wonder: how can we live out the “one anothers” if we’re too afraid to be known?

Love One Another

“A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” — John 13:34–35 (KJV)

I love this verse because Jesus made it so clear: if we love one another, the world will recognize who we belong to.

And I think about how terrible it must look when believers bicker with one another, especially on social media. These things, these arguments and disagreements, should be handled privately between brothers and sisters. And when they can’t be resolved, Scripture gives us a path: take it to your pastor, talk it out.

It doesn’t mean you’ll always be best friends, but you can agree to disagree and still live in peace.

“If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” — Romans 12:18 (KJV)

What we do and how we act when the world is watching is incredibly important. Imagine this … the church living peacefully and loving one another. Helping, volunteering, showing kindness not just within the church walls but out in the world. What a testimony that would be!

Bear One Another’s Burdens

“Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” — Galatians 6:2 (KJV)

What stands out to me isn’t just the “bearing” part, but the why — so fulfil the law of Christ. And what is that law?

“And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” — Mark 12:30–31 (KJV)

When we carry one another’s burdens, we’re not just showing compassion, but we’re also living out God’s command to love. We’re showing the watching world what His love looks like in action.

If you have a brother or sister struggling, call them. Text. Offer help. Take them a meal, or better still, take them out for one. And most importantly, listen.

There’s no better way to bear someone’s burden than to sit with them in it. For people like me, that’s hard because I want to fix things; make things better. However, most of the time, people just need an ear more than advice.

Encourage One Another

“Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (KJV)

Can you think of a time when you felt dry like your prayers were bouncing off the ceiling, and suddenly someone texted you a verse, or stopped by with a kind word, and bam! that flicker of faith turned into a flame again?

I’ve been there, and I thank God for those moments. He’s an on-time God, and sometimes, His people are the ones He uses to deliver that encouragement right on schedule. How blessed are we to be His hands and feet!!

Forgive One Another

“Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.” — Colossians 3:13 (KJV)
“And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” — Mark 11:25 (KJV)

Oh boy, this one’s tough, isn’t it?

Let me make this clear, forgiving someone doesn’t mean what they did was okay. It doesn’t minimize your hurt. But forgiveness is for you. It frees your heart from bitterness.

We’ve all seen what unforgiveness can do … it hardens hearts and poisons peace. Don’t live like that, friend. You can forgive without staying in close relationship. Sometimes it’s healthier to love someone from a distance, wish them well, and move on.

None of us are perfect. Honestly, we’re all just dust; forgiven dirt, at that. The least we can do is extend the same grace we’ve been given.

So here we are, friends, after circling the tree a few times, it really all comes back to this: we were never meant to walk this life alone. God designed us to live out our faith with one another.

Loving one another. Bearing burdens. Encouraging. Forgiving. 💜

None of these come naturally, they come supernaturally, through the Spirit working in us. And when the world sees believers actually living this way: loving instead of fighting, forgiving instead of holding grudges, serving instead of judging, they get a glimpse of Jesus.

That’s the testimony that speaks louder than anything you could ever say.

Maybe that’s what the “one anothers” are really about: not a checklist, but a way of showing the world what God’s family looks like. And maybe it starts with us — right here, right now: choosing to be trustworthy, kind, and real with one another again.

Love y’all and see you soon!

Candie B.

If you want to study some “one another” scriptures, click here

As some of you may have guessed, April May is a pen name. The thing about using a name like that, and talking a little different than I normally do, is that it makes it hard to grow socially. You see, I don’t actually talk like April May does. But my grandma did. So do some of my aunts and cousins. Please know I’m not poking fun at them, I guess to be honest I’m a little jealous… I always wanted to talk like that instead of sounding like I’m from the north-east.

Truth is, I’m not originally from the South. I was born and raised up in Delaware. My parents moved there from southern West Virginia not long after they got married because work was scarce, and my dad wasn’t too keen on the idea of the coal mines. My mom’s uncle told him about a job at the plant he worked at, so off they went newly married and chasing a fresh start in a new town.

I’m sure it wasn’t easy for them. The East Coast is a bit different from Appalachia. I imagine when people heard their accents and asked where they were from, there were probably some stereotypes floating around … spoken or unspoken. If you’re from Appalachia, you know the kind of reputation it gets. Thanks to movies like Deliverance and shows like Jerry Springer, a lot of folks think it’s a place full of people who talk funny, eat weird things, and marry their cousins.

But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Sure, like anywhere else, you’ve got a few characters, but Appalachia is full of hardworking, big-hearted people. Some of the best folks I’ve ever met are from right here, where I live now. The kind who’d give you the shirt off their back if you needed it.

Appalachia is beautiful. The people (most of them, anyway) are kind, hospitable, and they sure can cook.

So, I guess this is me coming out of the closet a bit, letting you know who I really am. I’m the daughter of two Appalachian parents. They raised me to live right, respect my elders, and drink from a hose. And all my life, deep down, I knew I’d end up here.

Now, for 22 years, I’m living in the foothills of Appalachia, and I love it. I hear the birds every morning and watch deer cross the yard. The “grittygrats” (that’s what my husband calls the frogs and toads) show up in the spring, don’t ask me why, he just does. Lightning bugs dance at dusk (and don’t tell me they’re fireflies, because I’ll argue you on that one), and wildflowers line the back roads.

Appalachia is where I found my faith again. It’s where I took custody of a child who wasn’t mine, and that’s the best thing I ever did. It’s where I grew roots, the kind that are good and deep and not easy to dig up.

And maybe, just maybe, that’s where I was meant to be all along. 💚

Love y’all,
Candie B.

Let me start at the beginning of where my thoughts been wanderin’. When I was a young’un, the America I grew up in looked a whole lot different than what we see today. Some may say it’s better now, and maybe if I were in my twenties or thirties I’d agree - but I’m not. I just turned fifty-seven two days ago, and I’ve lived long enough to see how much has changed.

Back then, people loved this country. They were patriotic, not perfect, but steady. If they didn’t like the president, they voted him out. If they didn’t like what the government was doin’, they called their representative, signed petitions, joined in good, healthy debates. Folks could be disappointed, even angry, but they still respected the office.

The America I knew respected those who loved God, even if they didn’t believe in Him themselves. Worship mattered to folks, and if you didn’t hold to faith, well, you voted and debated accordingly. But at the end of the day, people could shake hands and part ways without destroyin’ each other. We weren’t without trouble, race riots, assassinations, violence, it all happened. But for the most part, everyday people could voice an opinion and not fear bein’ silenced, canceled, or worse.

The Bible warns us plain in 2 Timothy 3 that in the last days “evil men will wax worse.” We’re seein’ it unfold right before our eyes.

My heart near broke when I saw the posts and comments on social media after Charlie Kirk was shot. I don’t care if folks agreed with him or not, that’s their right in this country. But to celebrate the death of a man? A husband, a daddy, a human being? Lord have mercy. That’s not politics, that’s evil.

You didn’t have to like Charlie. You could’ve shouted why you didn’t agree with him on social media, you could’ve taken the mic at one of his rallies. Truth be told, Charlie might’ve prayed for you that very night.

And it’s not just here. Not long before Charlie’s murder, I read of a young Ukrainian girl ( Iryna Zarutska, the 23-year-old) killed on the rail by someone who never should’ve been on the streets. Just another innocent life stolen for no reason. What’s goin’ on in this world?

I am grieved, friends. This is not the America I grew up in. My daughter has never known the America I knew—the one where we could stand together, even if we didn’t agree.

So this isn’t one of my usual “peppy” writings. It’s raw, it’s real, and it needs to be said. Especially to my younger Christian brothers and sisters:

• Live like Jesus.

• Pray for your enemies.

• Don’t back down from truth.

• Don’t let fear of rejection or harm keep you from sharin’ the Good News.

The truth is, every one of us has an expiration date. Charlie Kirk’s came September 10th. But I believe with all my heart he was greeted by his Heavenly Father with arms wide open. That thought gives me peace in the middle of all this sorrow.

So I’m askin’ you - pray.

Pray for Charlie’s family, friends, and the young folks he inspired. Pray for the family of that Ukrainian girl. And yes, pray even for the ones who carried out these murders, that their stone hearts would be turned to flesh. Pray for those spewing hate online, that Jesus would meet them in their dreams and shake ’em awake.

And don’t forget to pray for our country. Hug your spouse, your babies, your grandbabies a little tighter tonight. Tell ’em you love ’em, and remind ’em God loves ’em even more.

Love y’all,

Auntie April May

I’ve been down for the count this past week with the ick, and let me tell you, when you’re stuck feeling lousy and trying not to cough, you do a fair bit of scrolling.

Somewhere in all that, I came across a video I thought was really worth sharing. It’s from a podcast called Redeemed Wretch on YouTube. I don’t know if he’s on Substack, but I may poke around and see. I’ve enjoyed what I’ve heard so far, and I think you might too.

Love (and a pocketful of lozenges),

Auntie April May

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I am so sick! Im sorry there was no post today. Doc says I need to rest for a couple days. Pray for me front porch family!

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us be therewith content. But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition.

— 1 Timothy 6:6-9

Listen here, Sisters (and brothers if you’ve found yourself here 😉), I wrestled around about which scripture to share, and this one just wouldn’t let me go.

Let’s talk about contentment.

Now, don’t we all have just a little trouble with that? Maybe you think, “Nope, I’m good.” But let me toss out a few thoughts:

• If I were thinner, I’d be happy.

• If I could afford a new car, life would be easier.

• If we could just buy a house, everything would finally be better.

• I can’t stand my job, but I’m stuck with it.

• Once I retire, things will finally get good.

Sound familiar? Or maybe as you were reading, a few of your own “if onlys” popped into your head. See there? We all wrestle with contentment.

Here’s something to think on:

👉 Depression lives in the past. Anxiety lives in the future.

When we dwell on past failures and regrets, depression sets in. When we fixate on the unknowns of tomorrow, anxiety creeps up.

I think that’s why Paul wrote in Philippians 4:4-8

Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

That’s not looking backward. That’s not worrying about the future; that’s living in the present. Right here, right now - choosing to think on what is uplifting, encouraging, and doable. We can confidently sit in the present knowing that if something comes up, God is already there.

“Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”

— Isaiah 41:10

So this week, when you catch yourself wishing life were different or replaying old regrets, remember this: it’s great gain to have godliness with contentment. Our Father doesn’t want you stuck in the past or anxious about the future, He wants you rejoicing in the moment, trusting Him to fight your battles and hold you up with His mighty right hand.

Love y’all—and may your Monday be peaceful, your coffee be hot, and your whole week be filled with God-moments.

💛

Auntie April May

Photo by Nora Hutton on Unsplash

According to this scientist fella, pleasure and happiness are not one and the same—biologically speakin’. Pleasure is all about dopamine. You do somethin’ that gives your brain a rush of that chemical, but here’s the kicker—it never feels quite the same as it did the first time. Folks who’ve struggled with substances, food, sex, or gamblin’ will tell you all about “chasin’ the high.” Truth is, most of us do it in different ways.

What about chocolate? Yep, dopamine’s in play when you reach for that sweet fix. Or what about scrolling TikTok and Instagram ‘til your eyes cross? Same thing, dopamine at its finest.

Here’s the part that made me sit up straighter: the first time you do that drug, see that porn video, or hit it big at the slots, dopamine floods your brain. But your brain’s smart, it starts protecting itself. Next time around, it shuts down some of the receptors so you don’t fry the system. Which means? It don’t feel as good as it did the first time, and from there you’re always chasin’ what you lost. That’s how addiction grabs hold.

But happiness…oh, wonderful happiness. That’s where serotonin steps in. The brain doesn’t fight it, it welcomes it. Serotonin shows up when we help a friend, spend time with family, do somethin’ meaningful, or work in community with others. Happiness isn’t about taking, it’s about giving. It doesn’t cause addiction, but it sure does give us purpose.

And wouldn’t you know, scripture bears this out.

John 13:12–17 (KJV)

So after he had washed their feet, and had taken his garments, and was set down again, he said unto them, Know ye what I have done to you? Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him. If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them.

Did you catch that? Jesus tied happiness to serving others.

Proverbs 14:21 (KJV)

He that despiseth his neighbour sinneth: but he that hath mercy on the poor, happy is he.

Happiness flows from mercy. From compassion. From helping others.

Now let’s look at pleasure in scripture.

2 Timothy 3:1–4 (KJV)

This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God.

And notice, pleasure gets listed right alongside pride, selfishness, and dangerous behavior. There’s even that word “incontinent.” Now today, we’d think that meant a bladder issue, but in the text, it means folks who just can’t stop. No self-control. They’ll do whatever it takes to get that next hit of pleasure. It becomes their god.

Titus 3:2–3 (KJV)

To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men. For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another.

Pleasure is selfish. It pulls us inward. Think about addiction, at some point, it changes the brain and it takes help, sometimes medical help, to get out. But even before that, God warns us that pleasure brings pain. And it’s never just the addict who suffers, it’s the ones who love them too.

The Difference

👉 Pleasure isolates. It leaves you alone. And sisters, that’s exactly where the enemy wants you.

👉 Happiness builds community. It requires family, friends, trust in God, and giving yourself to something higher.

• You can’t find true happiness in one person.

• You can’t find it in things.

• You can’t scroll it up online.

Happiness comes straight from the goodness of God, and from loving others.

Remember what Jesus said:

Matthew 22:36–40 (KJV)

Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Do those two things, my friends, and you’ll be one happy camper.

Because pleasure is like sin, only for a season (Hebrews 11:25). It’s fast and fleeting. But happiness? Happiness is eternal.

🌿 Seek God and be happy!

And let me leave you with this last thought: there’s nothing wrong with enjoyin’ something, to find pleasure in a good meal, a laugh with friends, or even a bit of rest. But it ought to have its place, and it ought to be rooted in God. When He’s at the center, even the little pleasures of life turn into blessings instead of burdens.

Love y’all! Have a blessed Labor Day and give God the glory!

Love, Lipstick, and Happiness in Jesus,

Auntie April May

Today I have a letter from someone that I want to share. This is a very heavy topic dealing with mental health.

If that is something you don’t want to read about, now is the time to slip on over to another one of my lighter articles or posts. But I encourage you to stay, because I believe this will be helpful for you—or maybe for someone you love who struggles with mental health.

Dear Auntie April May,

I have been a Christian for many years, and I’m part of a church that I love. But they have never addressed mental illness. In fact, there seems to be an unspoken rule that no one brings it up, and sometimes it feels like people believe if you just have enough faith, everything will turn out okay. The truth is, I’m not okay.

For years I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety. I grew up in a very unstable home, and many things that happened to me as a child probably play a part in the way my brain works now. I’ve seen a therapist on and off, I’ve prayed and talked to God about it, and I’ve tried my best to live in ways that support my mental health. Still, I wish I could be more open about it with my church family.

Do you think it’s safe to mention it, to be more open, and hope that I’ll be received with understanding? Or do you think I should just keep managing what I can outside the church? Also, I haven’t really seen where scripture talks directly about mental health—or maybe I’m just missing it. Can you give me some advice?

Sincerely,

Lost and Feeling Alone

Dear Lost and Feeling Alone,

I am so glad you wrote and felt comfortable enough to share this with me—and with all those who gather here to read. I know it was hard to be this vulnerable, but honey, it was also brave. And let me say this right out loud: you are not alone. Your Auntie here checks in with a therapist from time to time too.

Now, mental health and the church have been at odds for a long while, especially in highly traditional settings. But here’s the truth: God values your health, and that includes your mind. In fact, there are more scriptures about how we think, “minding our mind,” if you will, than there are about physical health.

Do you remember the Armor of God in Ephesians 6?

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

- Ephesians 6:10–17

Now listen here, God said helmet. A helmet protects your head, that place where your thoughts, worries, and feelings all swirl together. He tied salvation to the mind for a reason. What we think is important. And when our thinking gets tangled or heavy, we need His help, and sometimes the help of others, to set it right.

There is no shame in that.

Scripture also says:

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7

That doesn’t mean if you struggle with mental illness your faith is weak. Not at all. What it means is that God is the source of peace, love, and a sound mind—and sometimes He delivers those gifts through therapy, medicine, and community. If it’s good and it helps you live, that’s a gift from your Father above.

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.” James 1:17

So if medicine helps, don’t you let anyone shame you, thank God for it!

The Bible also reminds us:

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” Philippians 4:8

But when your brain is sick, those “lovely and good” things can get hard to see. That’s why it’s important, to seek help when you need it. Doctors, counselors, support groups, especially ones coming from a Christian perspective, these can all be answers to prayer.

Now, about telling your church family. Well sugar, that depends. If there’s a trusted friend, someone who will keep your confidence and lift you up in prayer, I’d encourage you to share with them.

But if you feel the Lord nudging you to speak out more publicly, maybe He’s chosen you to bring light where silence has lingered too long. Just be sure you’re prayed up first, because not everyone will understand. Some folks are stuck in the old way of thinking that says “if you had more faith, you wouldn’t struggle.” Don’t let their misunderstanding shake your faith - NOT ONE BIT! If the Lord is leading that way honey, you do what He tells you and know He will be there every step of the way.

Remember, God cares deeply about your mind. He can heal in an instant, yes, but sometimes He walks with us step by step, sometimes through the hands of others He’s placed in our path. You just go to Him first and follow the path He sets before you.

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33

Your mind and the health of it matter to God.

He will be faithful.

Love and prayers,

Auntie April May

Well, listen here, y’all,

I found a writer on Substack that I think I’m really going to enjoy. Now, don’t get me wrong, my doctrinal roots are planted deeper than Grandma’s oak tree, but I also know the Lord lets us learn plenty from others if we’re willing to listen.

While I was looking around for other Christian voices, I came across Diane Ferreira of She’s So Scripture. After reading just a few of her posts, I was hooked. She’s a Messianic Jew, which just sparks my curiosity and makes me want to dig in even more.

And here’s the best part, she’s starting a Bible study on James. That alone was enough for me to sign up for her paid subscription. At $5 a month, I’d say that’s money well spent.

Help support a fellow Christ follower and subscribe today (she has a free subscription as well).

She's So Scripture

Journey Through James: A Six‑Week Study with a Messianic Twist

Hello, beautiful friends! I’m so excited to share something special with you today. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been pouring my heart into creating a brand‑new Bible study on the book of James—Ya’akov in Hebrew—and I cannot wait to invite you along for the ride…

Read more

8 months ago · 2 likes · She's So Scripture

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Being in a relationship, whether it’s with a friend, a spouse, or even kinfolk can sure be hard sometimes. I don’t know about you, but I’ve found myself walking through a season lately where it feels like every word I say could either plant a flower or light a fire and to be honest, I’ve lit one a time or two. That’s when the Lord gently reminds me: this is where we learn His way.

He shows us when to speak, when to hold our tongue, and most importantly, what spirit we’re speaking from. Left to my own self, I’d probably say a little too much (and regret it later). But God has a better way and we need to be quiet and listen for that still small voice before we allow the fire to come out (Trust me sisters and brothers, that isn’t the Holy Ghost fire I’m talking about)!

Paul laid it out plain in Ephesians 4:29–32 (KJV):

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

Now if that doesn’t preach right to where we live, I don’t know what does! The Lord isn’t asking us to be doormats, but He is asking us to walk in kindness and forgiveness, even when it’d be easier to let them have it (Trust me, I’ve had to chew my tongue more than once. And honey, that’s harder than chewing leather!).

So, if you’re in a hard season with someone right now, don’t think it’s wasted. God is teaching you how to respond, not just react. He’s shaping your words to be grace-filled and your heart to be forgiving. And you know what?

That’s where real freedom comes in.

Love y’all and don’t forget to pray for everyone who reads this and your Auntie April May. We all need strength to say the right thing and the wisdom to be quiet.

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”

(Matthew 6:33 KJV)

That right there isn’t just a Sunday verse; it’s an everyday verse. But let’s be honest, don’t we all trip up a little when it comes to doin’ that? Listen here:

“For with God nothing shall be impossible.”

(Luke 1:37 KJV)

If that’s the truth (and you better believe it is if you ask me), then why on earth don’t we run to the One who makes all things possible? Why don’t we seek Him first?

Now I know this much… if somebody told you there was a miracle food out there that was cheap, had no side effects, made you healthy as a horse, gave you boundless energy and the sweetest sleep you ever had, you’d be trippin’ over yourself to get in line with thousands of others. Yet here we sit with full access to the Almighty God, the One holding our very breath in His hand… and half the time we act like we’re too busy to bother. Lord, help us!

Brothers and sisters, it just ought not be. And don’t think I’m fussin’ at you without pointing a finger back at myself, I need this reminder just as much as anybody.

So today, let’s remember where the answers are and who holds every solution we’ll ever need: God Almighty and His Word. Let’s worship Him, not just for what He does, but for who He is… our Father, our Healer, our All in All.

With love, lipstick, and belief,

Auntie April May 💄✝️

Photo by Elimende Inagella on Unsplash

Hey there Sisters (and Brothers if you’re here),

Welcome to the first of what I hope will be many weekly devotionals to start your week in the right direction.

I want to begin with a scripture that has stayed with me over the years:

But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil. – Hebrews 5:14 (KJV)

Like many of you, I’ve had moments when I wondered why I didn’t notice something before it became a painful lesson, whether it was trusting the wrong person or making a decision that turned out badly. Then one day while studying, I came across this verse and the answer became clear. My discernment was lacking because I was living on spiritual “milk.” I thought a Sunday service and an occasional Christian podcast or video would be enough to keep me strong.

But that’s not how spiritual maturity works. Discernment doesn’t grow without consistent, intentional time in God’s Word. Only by moving from milk to meat, digging deep into Scripture, will our spiritual senses be trained to recognize both good and evil.

So for our first devotion, I’ll keep it simple: protect your heart, your mind, and your spirit, feed yourself the meat of the Word. These days, evil doesn’t always come wearing a warning label. If we’re not rooted in Scripture, it’s easy to mistake wrong for right.

And yes, I’m speaking to myself as much as anyone. I’ve had days where I told myself I was too tired and would read tomorrow. But there’s no better time than today. Let’s make a commitment—together—that we will open God’s Word every day, and not rely on the internet or someone else’s summary to tell us what the Lord has already given us in Scripture.

Are you in?

How do you keep from saying things you regret when you’re mad? My mouth is my worst enemy when anger comes out to play. I always say things I regret and need to talk to God about…rather repent about. I’ve been a Christian for a long time and I struggle with this. I feel like I should be past this by now. Can you give me some advice?

Sincerely,

Sharp-Tongued Sylvia

Hi Sister Sylvia,

Well bless your heart, Sylvia, I know exactly where you’re comin’ from. I used to wrestle with that very same thing! My tongue had more snap than a fresh green bean, and it always seemed to show up when I was angry.

Here’s the good news, you can overcome this with the Lord’s help, because I did. It didn’t happen overnight, but through consistent prayer, genuine humility, and spending time in God’s Word, things began to change. You are not alone in this struggle. These days it’s rare for my tongue to get the best of me (but sometimes it does). I have overcome “firecracker of a tongue” through lots of prayer, discipline, and leaning on the Lord every step of the way.

First, I had to own up to the fact that my words were my responsibility.

Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”

That means what I say can either build someone up or tear them clean down. Once I got that through my thick skull, I knew I had to choose life with my words.

Second, I started prayin’ every single morning:

Psalm 141:3 “Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.”

And honey, that prayer works. It’s like giving the Holy Spirit permission to put a holy padlock on your lips when your flesh wants to fly off the handle.

Let me tell you, when you let God fight your battles, He handles them far better than we ever could. I know it’s hard to keep quiet when everything in you wants to speak your mind to someone who you’re sure deserves it. But when we choose discipline and step back, allowing God to take control, the outcome is always so much better than anything we could have managed on our own

Lastly, I practiced this verse:

James 1:19 — “Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.”

I learned to stop, breathe, and think before letting a single syllable slip out. That pause became my best friend.

Now, I’m not perfect, but I’ll tell you this, I’ve gone from spouting off every time I was madder than a wet hen to remaining quiet. Shew, honey that ain’t no small feet I’ll tell you that!

And if God can tame my tongue and keep me quiet, sugar, He can sure help you with yours too.

So start your day with prayer, keep that Bible open, and remember, you don’t have to say every thought that crosses your mind. Sometimes the holiest thing you can do is just keep quiet and let God handle it.

Love and lipstick,

Auntie April May

I go to church, I love the Lord, but I sometimes doubt my salvation. I know the enemy can do all this. I believe Christ died for my sins, I accepted Him as Savior, and I can’t imagine doing this life without Him, but I still have these doubts. I see all these people at church looking so sure of their salvation, so I don’t feel comfortable asking anyone about this. How can I get past this feeling and move on?

Sincerely,

Doubtful Thomas’s Sister

Hey there sister,

I get it. And when I say I get it, I mean I’ve been right there myself. That kind of doubt can be one of the most gut-wrenching, focus-stealing things to walk through. Yes, it can come from the enemy, but remember this: the enemy can’t touch you without God allowing it.

So maybe you’re wondering, “Is God trying to tell me something?” In my case, and maybe in yours… yes. But first, let me put you at ease. A wise pastor once told me that sometimes belief is a feeling, and sometimes it’s simply a knowing. There are moments, especially in powerful church services, when the Spirit is moving, we feel His presence, and our hearts overflow with assurance.

But then there are quiet moments when we’re alone, and those feelings just aren’t there. That’s when we go straight to His Word.

Romans 10:9 (KJV)

“That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.”

That’s not based on emotion—that’s a promise.

And here’s the thing: feelings change, but God’s Word doesn’t. As women, we can get caught up thinking if we don’t feel it, it must not be real. But salvation is anchored in truth, not emotion. Sometimes it’s that head knowledge, knowing what God has said and taking Him at His Word, that keeps us steady.

And after that, it’s all about faith.

Romans 10:17 (KJV)

“So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.”

When we read, we “hear” His voice through Scripture, and our faith grows. That’s how we fight those doubts … by staying in the Word until His truth drowns them out.

Will doubts still pop up? Probably. The enemy isn’t very creative and he’ll reuse the same old tactics if he thinks they’ll work. But nothing he throws at you can’t be fought and won through Christ. Nothing.

So when you’re not feeling it, lean on the Scriptures that tell you you’re His. And when you are feeling it, praise Him for the reminder. Look at these battles not as deep valleys, but as training grounds. God is teaching you something here, and one day, you’ll be the one helping someone else through the same struggle.

Luke 22:31–32 (KJV)

“And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.”

You’re not walking through anything other believers haven’t faced. We just don’t talk about it enough. Hang in there, sister. Go to the Lord first, and know that your Auntie is always here to pray you through and help when I can. I may not have a theology degree hangin’ in my study (listen to me getting all fancy like I have a “study”), but I know the One who wrote the book and I trust Him.

With love, lipstick, and the Word,

Auntie April May